I'm so lucky
Tuesday, November 28, 2023 | 0 cute earthling |
Hi, it's been a while isn't it? 2019? wow. I had so many draft but I didn't post it. I wonder why. How was life? That was a classic question isn't? I just want to update a little about my life currently. I'm content. I'm happy. I'm grateful for those who loves me as I am. Thank you. I love you too.
I've been so quiet about my life this past few years. Maybe because I don't know what to post here. Maybe. But Alhamdulillah, my life's been fine. I'm tired actually. At this age, I just want to avoid dramas. I keep quiet about the things that happens to me. I don't care anymore what people want to say about me. You do you.
I have a lot of flaws. I'm not as pretty as I seems to be. I'm not as skinny as I used to be. I'm trying to embrace my flaws. That what makes me who I am. Most of the people that I met, have never made me as insecure about myself until I've known you. I drained myself out. I tried to reach your expectations until at one point that makes me realized about how important it is to make myself happy before others. There's a lot to say but I rather not. It's embarrassing for both of us. What's done is done and now I'm opening my new chapter.
My life been so productive recently. I'm much happier now. I don't want to overshare but I find this person so cute. Makes me smile and feel loved. I hope things would be as you want them to be and may Allah ease everything for you. I won't put my hopes too high but I do wish for this would be last.
I guess that's enough update for now. Again, I just want to say that I'm content with what I have right now. Thank you for being a part of me and my life. I hope one day I can say it without hesitation that I love you. I really do.
Hi 2019
Monday, June 17, 2019 | 1 cute earthling |
Thank you.
Wednesday, November 21, 2018 | 0 cute earthling |
sad October
Thursday, November 15, 2018 | 0 cute earthling |
Hello there. I'm so sorry that I haven't really update anything. October was supposed to be a happy month for me. A lot of things happened. Untold stories. Broken heart. Pain.
Let's begin from the start. I went somewhere far away from my hometown. I was happy, yes. That was a new thing for me. Traveling alone. It was exciting but I'm scared at the same time. Have you ever got the feelings when you are about to go somewhere far and suddenly, something bad might happen and you are not there? That's what I feel when I leave home that time. Things happened so sudden. I was shocked. That was the first time I got called by my best friend and she's crying. That was the first time she broke to tears while talking to me.
27th October, the day after my birthday. You called me and said that he's gone. He's not with us anymore. And you hang up the phone. I was blank that time. For almost five minutes, my mind went blank and I keep calling you. I called our friends but none picked up. I called my dad and asked him if he heard anything about it. He doesn't. Lastly I called a friend of him and asked. He doesn't know anything that time but I asked him to checked it. Not long after that he texted me and said it was true. I can't stop crying. It was really heartbreaking.
I changed the flight date and went home the next day. Took the earliest flight. I could't. Thinking bout you. Thinking bout your family. All those jokes we used to say. Those jokes about me being your sis in law. Those jokes you used to pulled on me when 'Abang' was there. I'm not even close with him but it's still hurts. I keep thinking about you. How will you take this? Will you be okay? All of that thought gets me.
He is indeed a nice guy. I never once saw him without a smile on his face. He's kind and a loving brother. He's the pride of your family. He's truly one of a kind. Because he's one of a kind, Allah took him from you. From your family. From us. I know it's hard. It's painful. You've been through a hard year. But please be strong. We will always love you. Supporting you. We'll pray, always.
Take as much time that you want. But please. Please don't forget about us. I can't promise that I will come over as fast as I can. But I can assure you that I will always listen if you want to let it all out. I'm all ears. If you need a shoulder to cry, I'm here.
This is my only platform to let it all go. I can't really say the words. Not in front. But still, I love you.
He is a good guy.
cut em open
Monday, September 17, 2018 | 0 cute earthling |
hello hello everyone! I'm so sorry that I haven't update anything since forever! >.< gomen
well it's not like I'm busy or doing anything in real life >.>
we still don't have Wi-Fi at our new house T.T gomen gomen gomen
and of course I do have cell data >.> but that was enough to play mobile game only. Well it's not really that important but well yeah kinda used to it. Already addicted to them :P
This past few months I've been doing nothing at all so I'm kinda getting puffy >.< NO! The only one things that I won't admit forever meow T.T
Oh and I'm trying to find a job since and went here and there and blablabla..long story short, I'm a bum that trying to find a job for a living :v can't stop the power of money.
It's been a rough month and rough time for me. Feeling a lot pressures inside out. Being awake so late at night is not a problem but it's bad for your health. Yet here I am still doing it. Bad habits hard to let go. I keep things shut inside my mind the whole time. They say talk it overrated so I write. *that's from a song btw*
I sometimes wonder if my parents truly understand me. If they truly mean it when they say words like 'disappointment'. I know sometimes words slipped from the mouth. You can't control your mouth when you are too emotional. Can't think rationally. I am trying my best living my life to the fullest. I am doing my best to make them proud of me. But sometimes I felt I'm just not good enough. Not good enough because they say so.
wait....this isn't supposed to be a sad entry tho..things happened and now I'm fine again. I'm just grateful being alive and have friends who cares. Well even though I didn't say anything about it to them. I do have some people who I like talking with. Just like this person who you can trust your story with, your thoughts and your blablabla complaining about some random shit. *ups*
Here's some advice that you need to remember dear self. Be strong, take a deep breath and hype yourself up when you feeling down.
You can't reach their expectations if you can't satisfy yours.
Don't stop yourself from doing great things just because of some insecurities. Just keep saying to yourself how awesome you are and how you will conquer the world.
There are always more than one points of view. You decide from which one you are watching. Either your's or their's.
Awesome words right? I was in awe when I read them again. Such a strong words from that person. You are more matured than your age :P I'm feeling like a little kid again when I'm talking with you. It's a good feelings. I like talking. Not gonna say the name cause you might somehow read this. Too much moe moe will make me pinkish.
That's all update for now. I'll write again next time. xoxo mio
Hi there
Tuesday, May 29, 2018 | 0 cute earthling |
hello there beautiful. I've been away for long since it's my final semester. Finally I'm done with school and now I'm a free person ^.^ oh wait. I still have one more paper to go T.T
So it's been a really long month for me. I don't really understand what I'm doing either. Sometimes I just wanna escape this town and go far far away. But sometimes I just wanna stay at home and do nothing at all like how I'm doing right now. Yeah It's pretty boring actually.
Recently I've been feeling down and kinda sad. Few days back I saw something also but I promise I'll be fine. I'm happy for you and wish you for never ending bliss in life. I'm happy that your family are getting back together and I'm so grateful for those memories. I'm not gonna be touchy I promise. I'm just happy that everything fall to place where it should be :)
Wondering what they say everything happen for a reason and yeah. As long everyone is happy and I'm happy too. Don't forget me in your prayers. I'll find them soon. Peace and comfort.
Traveling or should I say I went travel >~<
Sunday, February 25, 2018 | 1 cute earthling |
Hello guys and girls. I'm so sorry for being inactive this past weeks. I've been busy *lies* and lazy to update new things and I actually went travel to jeng jeng jeng!!!!! Medan, Indonesia.
I did promised to take pictures and here it is.
Day 1 was pretty exhausting and we arrived at Berastagi almost at 1am. The struggle was real >.< Jammed along the way and I got motion sickness with me T.T That place is where we stayed for one day and it's so pretty. Don't really got the chance to take lot's pic there because we were rushing that time.
See that mount? It's pretty right? That mount just erupted few days ago. Yes it still active when we were there. This mount name is Sinabung. It was such a lovely view and I really love how the sky was very clear that time.
Day 1, this beauty is sipiso piso waterfall. So pretty and to get the perfect pic you have to pay the price. Not cash tho just you have to walk down the staircase till you reach the checkpoint. I didn't went all the way tho because we don't have much time. But I managed to take a beautiful pic and also one for Jean's owner ^.^
It's like we traveling together
Day 1, from sipiso piso view. That's Lake Toba. It's pretty and that was our next stop. I was speechless that time because it was so pretty. I really enjoy the view and the place. I would like to go again next time. Maybe with you :')
Day 1, almost there guys! Look at that view. Lake Toba is so huge. It's so pretty and I love it. This place was our last checkpoint before we arrived at our second hotel. We were having a blast this time and took lots of selfies.
Day 1, presenting the back of the owner >.< I was so scared that time. We need to climb stairs ON TREE to get the perfect view. Was worth it! I'm loving ever inch of it lol. The air was nice, cold and sunny at the same time. I was thinking about you ehh I mean enjoying the view while thinking about you.
That was the day 1 update. There's more on our next update so don't miss it out >~< Once again I'm sorry for the late update and thank you for staying here with me. I will make sure to visit you guys and leave lots of love ^.^ Till again
いいね
Wednesday, January 17, 2018 | 3 cute earthling |
Hello beautiful. I hope you have a good day today. I've made a change here and there today. Kinda off with the music selection >.< Sorry! But I hope you like it.
I was about to put the add link here but I forgot the coding. I will look out for it again later. I'm just too lazy to do it right now plus this bed just too comfy! Talking bout it there's this person says we should merge our bed. Yeah -.- merge those bed.
I've done that before anyways when I stayed at my old dormitory. Near with my friends because someone was a scaredy cat not me and can't sleep because she's too afraid to be alone. Poor her. Hope she become a little brave today. I really don't like the beds in our old dorm because it's so shaky and makes funny noises. Even when you moved a little that bed would make a creaking noise and that's scary! I'm not the scaredy cat >.>
I remembered the first week when I started to lived in dorm with strangers. I don't really care that much but I'm a very active person when it comes to sleeping on bed. I moved a lot before because it was so uncomfortable. Plus it's not my bed that I usually use at home.
Day two at the dorm I already making memories that I would never forget all my life *plus till now they still tease me about it*. Because I can't sleep that time and was too uncomfortable I tossed around a lot more to find a perfect position so I could fall asleep. BUT suddenly, because I was moving around too much I've slipped and fall. I fall down from my bed and it's hurt >.< It wasn't just an ordinary fall. I fall and made a loud noises till I woke them all up >3<
The next morning my senior asked me about it. When I told her the story she laughed and tease me. She teased me a lot until the whole third floor know about the incident -.- In a very short time they made me famous! Thanks sis. Even the warden knows about it >.< There's a lot things happened back then even the most embarrassing one also happened there. It's a secret of mine that I keep bury deep down but they still bring it up sometimes.
All the memories. I cherished it forever.
and hey, I guess merging our bed would be nice. Who knows that scaredy cat might be me :P
poke poke
Tuesday, January 16, 2018 | 0 cute earthling |
for poking too much >.>
Hello beautiful. How was your day? Mine just started. Everyday this kid have to wake up early because she needs to babysit her littler brother and do the housework! yay -.-
Lucky that my little brother didn't throw his tantrum today like always. When he does this house gonna be so messy and you would hear someone screaming out of anger *not me* because that person can't take it any longer. You are really lucky to have me. I'm a very patient person but I'm quiet a jealous person too so BAAAM~
Just for today the work is slow and I've already done pretty much all. Well except for the cooking because it's still early. I usually cook lunch at 10 am or 11 am. Sometimes at 12 pm because my parents usually back home pretty late. They both work as a teacher. The only difference was my dad teaches highschool students and my mom teaches kids in the kindergarten.
I remembered when they asked me to changed my school when I was 16. That was not my decision to make anyway because my dad already planned it all along -.- More like I was dragged to where he work just to make sure I'm doing good at school and to watch me 24/7. Plus my dad also teaches me sport science because I took those subject in highschool and he just happened to be the teacher.
Can you feel what I felt that time? Why God Why >.<
He always asked me questions and if I couldn't get it right I had to stand up the entire class period. Sadly but true my dad are strict but in a good way and that what made me who I am today.
Thanks dad!
I probably going to add something new on my blog later. If you guys want me to put your link on my blog just comment here or you can leave them at the shout box there. Until next time :)
that reaction when you poke too much >3<
Goals
Sunday, January 14, 2018 | 0 cute earthling |
Hello beautiful. How was your weekends? I stayed home all week. Got no life >.< Plus my friends still on exam mood and I'm the only one who already finished my paper. The waiting part is what I dislike the most. I just hope that I passed the subjects with flying colors. Wish me luck!
Another one week before the date! Holidays! Travel! Vacation! You name it *hahaha* I can't wait to see the world. I was like forever in the small town and I already visited almost all places in my country. Oh well, except for the small towns on another state that was exception. I wish I could tho but maybe another time.
Let's talk about your to do list or your goal this year. You can list them on the comment or at the chat box :) I would definitely want to know yours!
Mine was still the same. Maybe because I haven't accomplish it yet so it never changed >.<
Here's what I really want to do this year.
1. Graduate with honor!2. Make my parents happy.3. Send my parents to Umrah. Insha'Allah4. Be more positive.5. Smile more.6. Speak good or remain silent.7. Be a good example for my siblings.8. Do good deeds.9. Be a good friend who's there when my friends need me.10. Be a better person each and everyday.
That was a long list of to do from this small kid. A few of them was since before which I still keep them. I was supposed to graduated last November but sadly I couldn't do it on time. A lot of things happened last year. I was so sad that time and was so depressed. I'm such a lucky person to have friends who was there for me. So I want to do the same.
The thought of me being a burden to my parents was a huge issues playing in my mind all the time. Ever since I was 16 till now. That thought slowly eating me until I feel the pain on my chest and I becoming more and more silent about my problems. I'm glad that I told my parents before it getting worse. Sometimes you just need to talk but I know it's hard to speak up your thought. Even more making you insecure when it's your deeper thoughts. Afraid that people might think I'm weird. I'm different. Hey beautiful, it's fine. We all are different but we still human. That's normal.
So guys! What your to do list for 2018? I hope you achieve what you want in life. Always pray because prayers, the most powerful weapon against trials. Do your best. Make dua not just for you yourself but also for others. Tawakkul and trust in His plans for you :)
Wish you guys the best and until another time.
After patience beautiful things await.
work and game
Friday, January 12, 2018 | 1 cute earthling |
Hello lovely. How are you today? It's a long day for me. Early in the morning my little brother already throwing his tantrum -.- He's been crying till my mom had to bring him with her to school. I like always doing the house work stuff. Kinda look like Tamako-chan running around the house and keeping the game alive. Yeah I play games too like all the time. There's this game I've been playing almost a year already and I would like to recommend you guys. It's a fun and cute game with a good graphic but still need lots of improvement. Overall it's a fun game and other ways for you to interact with people around the world.
I started play this game was on February 2016 and it had a lot upgrades till now. It's a war game and had different cities too. I play on multiple city before but now I just focused on one because it takes a lot of time to grow if you have too many account T.T rip me indeed. You can find this game on your play store. For those who likes anime probably would love this game. It's kinda like highschool of the dead for me. The pink hair girl on this game and also from HSOTD kinda the same even though they got different name and face *I hope you guys understand what I'm trying to say* >.< I'm just an anime freak alert -.- I hope you don't mind.
Back to running around the house, I was alone till 10 or 11 am and my mom suddenly went back home because she can't stand that my little brother won't stop crying and keep on following her everywhere. Well that kid just want attention and affection I guess. He only go to me when my parents went to work while he still asleep -.- such a crybaby and a picker.
Sometimes I had to do work while keeping my eye on him. I had to lock the front door so he won't go outside and put his fav cartoon on the TV to keep him calm -.- I'm so grateful for this training mom. Love you but it's too much -.- It's not that I don't like kid. I like babies but a kid nope. I will forever not ready for this >.>
Anyways, I finally getting used to this even though sometimes it tasted my patience. Not just a little but a lot. I'm only human with a rather faint wee will to do all this things alone. I really respect those single mom out there who manage to do this things alone. Faith that all we need. Have a good day. Until next time :)
my old me
Thursday, January 11, 2018 | 2 cute earthling |
Hi beautiful. How are you? I hope you all are fine and doing good. Thank you for the wishes for this new year. I really am happy and grateful for it. I love you >.<
I've been doing nothing really and got a lot of free time right now. I'm also really excited because we are gonna move out and go to our new home. I've been packing my stuffs and I found lots of my old diaries >.< I don't even remember few of them. The oldest one was from 2006 and I was 12 that time. How time passed yet here I am right now. From writing it on books to here. This old dusty blog of mine.
I read few of them. My old diaries and it's funny how my handwriting doesn't change at all -.- still ugly as ever. Malay people says "cakar ayam" *cries* But one thing for sure, I still use a lot colored pen and glittery one *because it's pretty* Most of them in my diaries are my friends bio and stuffs. Like you put there name, age, fav food, fav drinks and others. I even asked them to put a quotes. Such a brilliant brat I am. I put an example of it.
Name : MioAge : 12Hobbies : Reading *and that was a lie*, traveling *I never thought I was that interested on them since back than* Fav food : What my mom's cook I'll eat them all *what I wrote*Fav drink : Water duh XDQuotes : Nothing is Impossible!
loving my new desktop background
late night wish
Wednesday, January 10, 2018 | 2 cute earthling |
Hello beautiful. I hope it's not too late for me to wish you a Happy New Year 2018 pewpewpew >.<
I was preoccupied and was having my exam. Hope this year will bring us happiness and bless.
It's rather odd that I feel 2017 was a long year for me. So many things fall and crumbled and that also including me falling for you *opsss*
That's probably the chapter I would delete first *NO* yeah. Why I do that? Because why not.
The other day at school, my friend ask me about how to move on. I find it rather funny because she asked the wrong person about it. I was like "Dude seriously, me?" and I laugh it off. I don't even know the answer. I might probably know but pretend to NOT knowing about it. What a fine baka young lady >.< I'm really good at giving others advise but when it comes to me. I'm doomed.
It's a new chapter for me. Start my pretty white paper with my pretty black ink. I will write my own story beautifully. I can do whatever my heart desire. Because you only live once. Do the things that you like. Fall harder. Breathe deeper. Why? Because you can. There's a person out there who wish to lived a life like yours. Be grateful always. Smile because who knows that smile could save another lost soul who want to be saved.
Big brother says life is beautiful. It's true indeed. Once you believes, it will always be. That's how my 2018 will be. A beautiful story for me and people around me.
I'm so lucky